Hurricane's a'comin', Run for the Hills!

So it looks like there’s another hurricane heading toward Florida, with possibly two other systems behind it trailing behind. I’m going to take a terrible risk and take a moment to rip into everyone’s favorite reporter, the weather guy. I know there’s a lot to meteorology and weather systems and air pressure and changes of patterns, yadda-yadda-yadda. But there’s one part of a meteorologist’s job that, shall I say, any idiot could do. And that’s track hurricanes.

Hurricane tracking even today appears to be nothing more than watching that big-old spiraling mess of clouds move along commonly followed tracks through satellite photos.  I can’t be only one who thinks this. And determining the projected path requires nothing more than asking the computer to do some modeling. Heck. I’m actually more impressed by the software gurus who implemented the computer models than the weather guy who’s using it. At the same time there’s these hurricane “prediction experts” who once a year put on their beanie caps and tell the whole world how many hurricanes and tropical storms they foresee will be barreling our way. And people actually believe these jokers, despite the fact that they’re about as accurate as a blind man attempting to solve a Rubik’s Cube. Ridiculous.

Anyhow, I’ll get off my pedestal and, in all seriousness, mention that’s now’s the time to stock up on hurricane supplies. If and you’ve lived in Florida or anywhere within a hundred miles of an ocean, you SHOULD know what these are; water, canned foods, flashlights, batteries, radio. But here are a few tips that you may not have considered:

·         Cell Phones May Not Work: These little gadgets have become such an integral part of our everyday lives, it’s hard to imagine not being able to use them. But if a storm knocks out the power to the closest cell phone towers, you’re the only thing you’ll be using your phone for is Angry Birds.

·         Stock Up on Toilet Paper: May sound like a silly item, but try to picture yourself without it. Try to imagine what you’d be using instead of toilet paper and very quickly you’ll realize the importance of this staple.

·         Get to Know Your Neighbors by Name: This may sound like an idealistic goal that everyone knows they should be doing anyhow. But trust me from someone who’s been through a few storms. When you have a tree where, say, your bedroom used to be, having a couple nearby buddies with chainsaws and muscle can make a huge difference.

·         Have Some Card/Board Games Handy: Like with the cell phones, imagine a world with no electricity. And depending on the storm’s severity and impact on your town, you may be twiddling your thumbs for days on end.

And to wrap up, here’s another weird look into my sense of humor: