Kids Never Remember What They Should

I had an epiphany the other day when I was talking with my kids about a trip to Williamsburg we took recently. You can easily spend hundreds and thousands of dollars on family vacations, trying to build good childhood memories for my kids. But it’s no use. They never remember what should. They don’t remember the fancy dinners or the sights on the expensive tours or most anything else that burns through your hard-earned savings. They remembered things like what the stray dog smelled like that we happened upon between bus tours and the taste of the free candy-like mints as we were leaving the fancy dinner.

Case in point, when I was about eight or nine, the age my kids are now, my mother, brother, and I were visiting my grandparents and aunt and uncle in Pittsburgh one summer. At one point, we headed out to downtown Pittsburgh and visited the touristy spots, the few that there are. Though I’m sure my grandparents and aunt and uncle laid down quite a bit of money on Incline tickets, the Pittsburgh Science Center, a Pirate’s game, and all the food and treats they shoveled our way, my most memorable moment on this trip had nothing to do with any of this. It was late and we were all walking through downtown to the nearest subway station after a Pirate’s game when I came across an old homeless lady, draped in layer after layer of rags and clothes and pushing a grocery cart. My grandfather, the perpetually observant man that he was, noticed the homeless lady and looked at me and immediately read the question in my mind. Placing an arm across my shoulders, he leaned down and whispered, “That’s a bag lady. She lives out on the streets all the time so she has to carry her home and everything she owns with her wherever she goes.” I was mystified. This was undoubtedly most memorable moment of the entire trip.

Anytime we’re out and about with my kids, I often wonder what moments they will be carrying with them into adulthood. Sometimes I think back at that “bag lady” and my grandfather’s instant clarity and I look for similar occasions with my kids where I can open their eyes to another piece of life. But suspect that no matter how hard I try, what they remember is forever out of my control. I guess such parenting is like playing darts in a hurricane; we keep tossing them over and with any luck one or two will stick.

Another use for that $3000 flat screen TV