I often worry
that I’m not involved enough with my kids. I’ve often seen and heard from
various parents and grandparents that time is best thing you can give to your
kids. But how much is enough without smothering them? It’s a delicate balance
between being involved and giving them space to be themselves. Unfortunately,
the scale is invisible and it’s hard reading the needle when you’ve got one
foot on either end.
A year ago I
made the mistake of pushing my son into cub scouts. Of course, I only call it a
mistake because he didn’t like it. The problem is he’s a kid who won’t do
anything until you give him a little nudge forward and he realizes how much he
actually likes it. And I honestly thought he might like it. In scouting,
especially with the younger kids, you play games, run around, go on field
trips, discover things, and best of all I get to be a part of it.
Unfortunately, he hated it, and I suspect that it was partially because it was
me pushing him.
And with both
of my kids I’ve often fell into the common mistake of comparing them with other
kids. Are they keeping up? Why can that girl do something my kid can’t or what
is it I’m not doing with my kids that is inhibiting them from excelling like
some other kids?
Too many
questions. What I always end up reminding myself is this: They’re just kids.
And no matter what I do or don’t do, they’re going to grow up anyhow. I guess I
should just enjoy them. We all want what’s best for our kids. But maybe what’s
best isn’t always trying to build a superstar.
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